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#66

Carried: Chameroid (Painful dime-sized ulcers on the penis or clitoris)

I want to be wanted and I'm certain I'd contaminate whoever agreed to it.

Worth is estimated at nothing and desire is treated as the proof of it, so longing and self-disgust arrive together and neither can be acted on. A penalty is felt to be owed for having an erotic nature at all, which is where the need for punishment comes in. That equation was built in a household that shamed sexuality and exploited it at the same time — the double message being the injury, since the child was condemned for what was being taken from them. What the shape asks for is the charge examined for whose conduct it actually describes.

The Archetypal Form

Mary Magdalene, whose name was attached to a disgrace assigned by others and repeated long after anyone checked it. The form implies a task: to find out who assigned the reputation, and on what evidence.

The Algorithm
Essence
The Misplaced Shame
Rule
I was made to hold the dirtiness of what was done to me.
Classification
Body zone
The genitals; painful ulceration at the site of desire
Archetype
Mary Magdalene
Emotional theme
Worthlessness fused with sexual shame; the felt need for punishment
Behavioural pattern
Longing paired with self-disgust; approach followed by penalty; closeness sought and refused
Family dynamic
A family that shamed sexuality while exploiting it, condemning the child for what was taken from them
Core wound
I was made to hold the dirtiness of what was done to me.
Exit
Locating the source of the disgrace and returning it to its author.
Frequently asked
What is the "Carried: Chameroid (Painful dime-sized ulcers on the penis or clitoris)" pattern?

Worth is estimated at nothing and desire is treated as the proof of it, so longing and self-disgust arrive together and neither can be acted on. A penalty is felt to be owed for having an erotic nature at all, which is where the need for punishment comes in. That equation was built in a household that shamed sexuality and exploited it at the same time — the double message being the injury, since the child was condemned for what was being taken from them. What the shape asks for is the charge examined for whose conduct it actually describes.

What does "Carried: Chameroid (Painful dime-sized ulcers on the penis or clitoris)" sound like when it shows up?

I want to be wanted and I'm certain I'd contaminate whoever agreed to it.

What is the archetypal form of "Carried: Chameroid (Painful dime-sized ulcers on the penis or clitoris)"?

Mary Magdalene, whose name was attached to a disgrace assigned by others and repeated long after anyone checked it. The form implies a task: to find out who assigned the reputation, and on what evidence.

This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.