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#14

Carried: Face Nerve Pains (Severe) (I)

Somewhere in me a case is closed: I'm the wrong kind of thing, and the sentence is still being carried out.

It fixes on a single question — whether one is acceptable at the highest level — and answers it in advance, in the negative. Because the verdict is treated as settled, punishment is not feared so much as expected and half-invited, and forgiveness of the self is ruled out as a category error. The face is the site: the surface presented for judgment carries the pain. It was set down early, by people who taught a child that its nature was the problem; what the shape asks for is the question reopened rather than the sentence served.

The Archetypal Form

Judas, unable to imagine that the pardon on offer could extend to him, and finishing the punishment himself. The form implies a task: to consider that the pardon has no exception written into it.

The Algorithm
Essence
Wrong at the Root
Rule
There is something in what I am that cannot be pardoned.
Classification
Body zone
The nerves of the face; pain in the surface shown to the world
Archetype
Judas
Emotional theme
Conviction of being fundamentally unacceptable; unrelenting guilt
Behavioural pattern
Self-condemnation; refusal of self-forgiveness; a felt need for punishment to be severe
Family dynamic
A childhood in which the child was defined as bad and wrong from the outset
Core wound
There is something in what I am that cannot be pardoned.
Exit
Treating the verdict as a claim made by particular people, and demanding to see the evidence.
Frequently asked
What is the "Carried: Face Nerve Pains (Severe) (I)" pattern?

It fixes on a single question — whether one is acceptable at the highest level — and answers it in advance, in the negative. Because the verdict is treated as settled, punishment is not feared so much as expected and half-invited, and forgiveness of the self is ruled out as a category error. The face is the site: the surface presented for judgment carries the pain. It was set down early, by people who taught a child that its nature was the problem; what the shape asks for is the question reopened rather than the sentence served.

What does "Carried: Face Nerve Pains (Severe) (I)" sound like when it shows up?

Somewhere in me a case is closed: I'm the wrong kind of thing, and the sentence is still being carried out.

What is the archetypal form of "Carried: Face Nerve Pains (Severe) (I)"?

Judas, unable to imagine that the pardon on offer could extend to him, and finishing the punishment himself. The form implies a task: to consider that the pardon has no exception written into it.

This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.

Decoded3times