← codex
#36

Carried: Face Nerve Pains (Severe) (II)

There's a version of me I hand out, and I've lost track of where the real one is filed.

The traffic between what is felt inside and what is presented outside has broken down, and the break is painful rather than merely inconvenient. Humiliation, anger, sorrow and guilt are all present and none is permitted onto the face, so the surface that meets other people carries a load it was never meant to bear. The self is not concealed strategically here; it is avoided, on the understanding established in a rejecting household that being oneself was the thing that drew fire. What the shape asks for is one accurate expression shown to one person.

The Archetypal Form

Medusa, whose face was made unshowable and who was known thereafter only by the effect of being looked at. The form implies a task: to be met at close range by someone who does not turn away.

The Algorithm
Essence
Wrong at the Root
Rule
What I am was the thing they refused.
Classification
Body zone
The nerves of the face; the surface presented to others
Archetype
Medusa
Emotional theme
Shame at one's own nature; fear of being seen as oneself
Behavioural pattern
Systematic self-concealment; a managed exterior with strong feeling blocked behind it
Family dynamic
A rejecting family in which the child's actual self was not permitted
Core wound
What I am was the thing they refused.
Exit
Letting one person see the unmanaged version, and staying in the room afterwards.
Frequently asked
What is the "Carried: Face Nerve Pains (Severe) (II)" pattern?

The traffic between what is felt inside and what is presented outside has broken down, and the break is painful rather than merely inconvenient. Humiliation, anger, sorrow and guilt are all present and none is permitted onto the face, so the surface that meets other people carries a load it was never meant to bear. The self is not concealed strategically here; it is avoided, on the understanding established in a rejecting household that being oneself was the thing that drew fire. What the shape asks for is one accurate expression shown to one person.

What does "Carried: Face Nerve Pains (Severe) (II)" sound like when it shows up?

There's a version of me I hand out, and I've lost track of where the real one is filed.

What is the archetypal form of "Carried: Face Nerve Pains (Severe) (II)"?

Medusa, whose face was made unshowable and who was known thereafter only by the effect of being looked at. The form implies a task: to be met at close range by someone who does not turn away.

This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.

Decoded3times