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#121

Carried: Marasmus (Protein and carbohydrate deprivation reaction and/or…) (II)

Some part of me decided, before I could remember, that I was never owed a place here at all.

It shows as a conviction, laid down before memory, that one is not entitled to take up room or to have needs met, and, at its extreme, a quiet readiness to conclude the story altogether. It traces to the earliest rejection, from before or just after birth. This is a grave pattern, and where such a wish is live its care belongs with someone trained to help, now. What it asks for is to let another person insist, against the old verdict, that one's place here is not in question.

The Archetypal Form

The scapegoat, laid with the year's wrongs and driven out into the wilderness to carry them away and not return, made to bear an atonement that was never its own. The form implies a task: to refuse the load placed on one before one could refuse, and turn back toward the living.

The Algorithm
Essence
The Burden
Rule
I was rejected so early that I decided I was never entitled to take up room at all.
Classification
Body zone
Failure to thrive; a felt lack of any right to take up room
Archetype
The Scapegoat
Emotional theme
A conviction of not deserving to exist; a readiness to conclude
Behavioural pattern
Withholding one's own needs; leaning toward ending
Family dynamic
Earliest rejection, from before or just after birth
Core wound
I was rejected so early that I decided I was never entitled to take up room at all.
Exit
Letting another insist one's place here is not in question, with trained help where the wish to end is live.
Frequently asked
What is the "Carried: Marasmus (Protein and carbohydrate deprivation reaction and/or…) (II)" pattern?

It shows as a conviction, laid down before memory, that one is not entitled to take up room or to have needs met, and, at its extreme, a quiet readiness to conclude the story altogether. It traces to the earliest rejection, from before or just after birth. This is a grave pattern, and where such a wish is live its care belongs with someone trained to help, now. What it asks for is to let another person insist, against the old verdict, that one's place here is not in question.

What does "Carried: Marasmus (Protein and carbohydrate deprivation reaction and/or…) (II)" sound like when it shows up?

Some part of me decided, before I could remember, that I was never owed a place here at all.

What is the archetypal form of "Carried: Marasmus (Protein and carbohydrate deprivation reaction and/or…) (II)"?

The scapegoat, laid with the year's wrongs and driven out into the wilderness to carry them away and not return, made to bear an atonement that was never its own. The form implies a task: to refuse the load placed on one before one could refuse, and turn back toward the living.

This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.