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#86

Carried: Osteo-Myelitis (Inflammation of the bones)

I've held everything up alone in a world I never felt held by, and my very frame aches with it.

It runs as a quarrel with the ground of things, a fear and anger at the very structure of the universe and the nature of life, a felt total lack of support or safety, carried by someone who became the pillar of strength and family hoist in a depriving childhood. The self-reliance is real and it rests on a conviction that nothing underneath will hold. The clinical name is a shape, not a diagnosis. What it asks for is one experience of being supported, so the frame is not the only thing holding.

The Archetypal Form

Vainamoinen, the ancient singer who carried the world's lore alone through a cold and unhelping cosmos, holding up more than any one being should have to. The form implies a task: to be held by something outside oneself, for once.

The Algorithm
Essence
Betrayed Order
Rule
Nothing was ever there to hold me, so I hold it all up alone.
Classification
Body zone
The bones and their marrow, inflamed; the body's own frame, and a quarrel with the structure of things
Archetype
Vainamoinen
Emotional theme
A conviction that nothing underneath will hold; no felt safety
Behavioural pattern
Total self-reliance as the pillar of strength, over a quarrel with the nature of life
Family dynamic
A depriving childhood in which the person had to be the family's pillar of strength
Core wound
Nothing was ever there to hold me, so I hold it all up alone.
Exit
One experience of being supported, so the frame isn't the only thing holding.
Frequently asked
What is the "Carried: Osteo-Myelitis (Inflammation of the bones)" pattern?

It runs as a quarrel with the ground of things, a fear and anger at the very structure of the universe and the nature of life, a felt total lack of support or safety, carried by someone who became the pillar of strength and family hoist in a depriving childhood. The self-reliance is real and it rests on a conviction that nothing underneath will hold. The clinical name is a shape, not a diagnosis. What it asks for is one experience of being supported, so the frame is not the only thing holding.

What does "Carried: Osteo-Myelitis (Inflammation of the bones)" sound like when it shows up?

I've held everything up alone in a world I never felt held by, and my very frame aches with it.

What is the archetypal form of "Carried: Osteo-Myelitis (Inflammation of the bones)"?

Vainamoinen, the ancient singer who carried the world's lore alone through a cold and unhelping cosmos, holding up more than any one being should have to. The form implies a task: to be held by something outside oneself, for once.

This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.