Carried: G.E.R.D. (Gastro-Esophageal Reflex Disease) (III)

Everything gets pushed back down: the feeling, the ambition, the version of a life that would actually be one's own. The reason given is catastrophe — letting go is expected to destroy something — and the reason is inherited rather than tested, since becoming oneself was treated in that household as a threat and a departure. The containment is now at its limit, which is what the burning behind the breastbone is registering. What the shape asks for is a first instalment of self-expression taken while it is still a choice.

If I ever let myself go all the way, I think the whole thing comes down — and I'm nearly there anyway.

Prometheus, chained for the act of stepping out of line and made to pay by instalments. The form implies a task: to notice that the chain was fitted long ago and to check whether it is still fastened.