Carried: Ileitis (Inflammation of the opening to the large intestine) (I)

The worry is not about a specific failure but about a standing insufficiency, plus the consequences expected once it becomes visible. Self-disapproval runs continuously and produces a jumpiness out of proportion to anything happening, since the anticipated exposure could arrive at any point. The ileum is a checkpoint, the narrow passage where what has been taken in is assessed before it goes further, and the assessing is where the inflammation sits. What the shape asks for is a standard stated in numbers rather than felt as a threat.

I'm not good enough, and I spend most of my energy on what happens when they find that out.

Psyche before the heap of mixed seed, set an impossible sorting task by someone who wanted her to fail. The form implies a task: to notice who set the test, and on what terms.