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#138

Pushed away: Dates (Fruit) (I)

I'm very agreeable about all of it, right up until somebody needs me to actually hold it.

It passes responsibility along smoothly and without conflict, agreeing readily, volunteering rarely, and arranging by a hundred small courtesies for the weight to end up with somebody else. Engulfing and over-indulgent mothering meant that somebody always stepped in before the consequence arrived, so the muscle for carrying was never needed and the charm that keeps things pleasant was developed instead. What it asks for is one responsibility held all the way to its consequence, without a rescue.

The Archetypal Form

It echoes Lazy Heinz, whose every plan was a scheme for arranging that somebody else would do the work, and who was defeated at last only by a dream. The form implies a task: to get up and do the small thing before the scheme forms.

The Algorithm
Essence
The Perennial Child
Rule
Somebody always stepped in, so I never learned what carrying feels like.
Classification
Substance / Activity
Dates, fruit
Archetype
Lazy Heinz
Emotional theme
Weight always absorbed by somebody else
Behavioural pattern
Responsibility-deflection; agreeable non-holding; capacity for carrying never developed
Family dynamic
Engulfing and over-indulgent maternal parenting that intervened before consequences arrived
Core wound
Somebody always stepped in, so I never learned what carrying feels like.
Exit
Holding one responsibility all the way to its consequence, without a rescue.
Frequently asked
What is the "Pushed away: Dates (Fruit) (I)" pattern?

It passes responsibility along smoothly and without conflict, agreeing readily, volunteering rarely, and arranging by a hundred small courtesies for the weight to end up with somebody else. Engulfing and over-indulgent mothering meant that somebody always stepped in before the consequence arrived, so the muscle for carrying was never needed and the charm that keeps things pleasant was developed instead. What it asks for is one responsibility held all the way to its consequence, without a rescue.

What does "Pushed away: Dates (Fruit) (I)" sound like when it shows up?

I'm very agreeable about all of it, right up until somebody needs me to actually hold it.

What is the archetypal form of "Pushed away: Dates (Fruit) (I)"?

It echoes Lazy Heinz, whose every plan was a scheme for arranging that somebody else would do the work, and who was defeated at last only by a dream. The form implies a task: to get up and do the small thing before the scheme forms.

This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.

Decoded2times