Pushed away: Filberts
“I was raised to be hard work, and it took.”
It keeps intimacy off by being difficult to be around, and the difficulty is not accidental: the mannerisms, the prickliness and the particular way it puts people off were trained in rather than chosen. A mother who wanted the person to stay made them unappealing to everybody else, which is an efficient method and a quiet one, and the training outlived the household that installed it. What it asks for is to drop one of the repelling habits deliberately and watch what comes near.
It echoes Hachikazuki, whose mother placed a wooden bowl on her head that could not be taken off, so that everybody who saw her laughed and nobody would have her. The form implies a task: to find out who put the bowl there, and what it was for.
- Essence
- Wrong at the Root
- Rule
- She made sure nobody else would want me, and it worked.
- Substance / Activity
- Filberts
- Archetype
- Hachikazuki
- Emotional theme
- Unlikeability installed deliberately by a parent
- Behavioural pattern
- Intimacy-avoidance; trained-in behaviour that keeps others at a distance
- Family dynamic
- Maternal parenting that made the child unappealing to others in order to keep them close
- Core wound
- She made sure nobody else would want me, and it worked.
- Exit
- Dropping one repelling habit deliberately and watching what comes near.
What is the "Pushed away: Filberts" pattern?
It keeps intimacy off by being difficult to be around, and the difficulty is not accidental: the mannerisms, the prickliness and the particular way it puts people off were trained in rather than chosen. A mother who wanted the person to stay made them unappealing to everybody else, which is an efficient method and a quiet one, and the training outlived the household that installed it. What it asks for is to drop one of the repelling habits deliberately and watch what comes near.
What does "Pushed away: Filberts" sound like when it shows up?
I was raised to be hard work, and it took.
What is the archetypal form of "Pushed away: Filberts"?
It echoes Hachikazuki, whose mother placed a wooden bowl on her head that could not be taken off, so that everybody who saw her laughed and nobody would have her. The form implies a task: to find out who put the bowl there, and what it was for.
This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.
Decoded6times