Pushed away: Kale (I)
“Put me at the end of the list. I'm more comfortable down there.”
It arranges itself last as a matter of course, last served, last considered, last to state a preference, and turns aside the affection that would disturb the arrangement. Deprivation and belittling at home taught it early that its portion of love was small and that reaching for more would be embarrassing, so the last place became a habit and a hiding place at once. What it asks for is to name one want before anyone else names theirs, and to hold the position for the length of a sentence.
It echoes Simcheong, the Korean daughter who sold herself to the sea merchants to buy back her blind father's sight and never counted her own life among the things worth saving. The form implies a task: to enter oneself on the list of people being rescued.
- Essence
- The Unallotted
- Rule
- There was never going to be enough for me, so I stopped asking.
- Substance / Activity
- Kale
- Archetype
- Simcheong
- Emotional theme
- Non-deservingness of love
- Behavioural pattern
- Habitual self-deprivation; deflection of affection; automatic last place
- Family dynamic
- Depriving and belittling household where the child's share was the smallest
- Core wound
- There was never going to be enough for me, so I stopped asking.
- Exit
- Stating one preference first and staying with it.
What is the "Pushed away: Kale (I)" pattern?
It arranges itself last as a matter of course, last served, last considered, last to state a preference, and turns aside the affection that would disturb the arrangement. Deprivation and belittling at home taught it early that its portion of love was small and that reaching for more would be embarrassing, so the last place became a habit and a hiding place at once. What it asks for is to name one want before anyone else names theirs, and to hold the position for the length of a sentence.
What does "Pushed away: Kale (I)" sound like when it shows up?
Put me at the end of the list. I'm more comfortable down there.
What is the archetypal form of "Pushed away: Kale (I)"?
It echoes Simcheong, the Korean daughter who sold herself to the sea merchants to buy back her blind father's sight and never counted her own life among the things worth saving. The form implies a task: to enter oneself on the list of people being rescued.
This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.
Decoded4times