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#87

Pushed away: Make-Up

Desire in a room makes me want to leave it.

It keeps passion and sexuality at a distance and finds the erotic not merely uninteresting but faintly repellent, with its own body and its own attractiveness handled as embarrassments rather than as assets. It comes out of parenting that was possessive, rejecting or exploitative around exactly this part of the person, in some cases including sexual harm, and where desire first arrives as something being done to a person, the whole register gets filed under threat. What it asks for is to find out what wanting is like in a room where nothing is being taken.

The Archetypal Form

It echoes Gerdr in her father's hall, courted with threats until she agreed, for whom the first approach of desire arrived as something that would be extracted whatever she said. The form implies a task: to be asked by somebody with nothing to threaten.

The Algorithm
Essence
The Misplaced Shame
Rule
What should have been mine was handled as though it belonged to somebody else.
Classification
Substance / Activity
Make-up
Archetype
Gerdr
Emotional theme
Desire first encountered as coercion
Behavioural pattern
Avoidance of passion and sexuality; the erotic experienced as disturbing or repellent
Family dynamic
Possessive, rejecting or exploitative parenting around the person's sexuality, in some cases including sexual harm
Core wound
What should have been mine was handled as though it belonged to somebody else.
Exit
Finding out what wanting is like where nothing is being taken.
Frequently asked
What is the "Pushed away: Make-Up" pattern?

It keeps passion and sexuality at a distance and finds the erotic not merely uninteresting but faintly repellent, with its own body and its own attractiveness handled as embarrassments rather than as assets. It comes out of parenting that was possessive, rejecting or exploitative around exactly this part of the person, in some cases including sexual harm, and where desire first arrives as something being done to a person, the whole register gets filed under threat. What it asks for is to find out what wanting is like in a room where nothing is being taken.

What does "Pushed away: Make-Up" sound like when it shows up?

Desire in a room makes me want to leave it.

What is the archetypal form of "Pushed away: Make-Up"?

It echoes Gerdr in her father's hall, courted with threats until she agreed, for whom the first approach of desire arrived as something that would be extracted whatever she said. The form implies a task: to be asked by somebody with nothing to threaten.

This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.

Decoded4times