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#112

Pushed away: Tobacco

I haven't raised my voice since I was a child, and I don't intend to start.

It carries a heavy seriousness and keeps assertion, initiative and anything resembling aggression permanently out of use, so that the whole forward-going register is missing rather than merely restrained. A mother who reacted with fury to any masculine expression made that register dangerous to display, and the safest available version of a person was a grave one who never pushed. What it asks for is one clear statement of a want, said at ordinary volume, to somebody who can hear it.

The Archetypal Form

It echoes Vidar, the silent one who stands at the edge of every gathering saying nothing at all, keeping an entire capacity in reserve for a day that has not come. The form implies a task: to spend a small part of the reserve now.

The Algorithm
Essence
The Withheld Fire
Rule
Anything forceful in me set her off, so I put it all away.
Classification
Substance / Activity
Tobacco
Archetype
Vidar
Emotional theme
Assertion withdrawn to avoid a mother's fury
Behavioural pattern
Somberness; joy-avoidance; total shutdown of initiative, assertion and aggression
Family dynamic
Maternal parenting that reacted with rage to any masculine expression
Core wound
Anything forceful in me set her off, so I put it all away.
Exit
Stating one want at ordinary volume to somebody who can hear it.
Frequently asked
What is the "Pushed away: Tobacco" pattern?

It carries a heavy seriousness and keeps assertion, initiative and anything resembling aggression permanently out of use, so that the whole forward-going register is missing rather than merely restrained. A mother who reacted with fury to any masculine expression made that register dangerous to display, and the safest available version of a person was a grave one who never pushed. What it asks for is one clear statement of a want, said at ordinary volume, to somebody who can hear it.

What does "Pushed away: Tobacco" sound like when it shows up?

I haven't raised my voice since I was a child, and I don't intend to start.

What is the archetypal form of "Pushed away: Tobacco"?

It echoes Vidar, the silent one who stands at the edge of every gathering saying nothing at all, keeping an entire capacity in reserve for a day that has not come. The form implies a task: to spend a small part of the reserve now.

This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.

Decoded3times