Pushed away: Water Lillies
“Watching people enjoy themselves makes my skin crawl a bit.”
It finds delight not merely unavailable but slightly distasteful, something other people lower themselves into, and it extends the same reaction to anything reverent, which it reads as one more form of wallowing. Rejection and deprivation from before birth onward, inside a household with very little in it, left it with no ordinary experience of pleasure and a strong incentive to reclassify what it never got as beneath it. What it asks for is one pleasure taken privately, where no position has to be held about it.
It echoes Efnysien at the peace-feast, who was not consulted about the marriage and answered by ruining the horses in the stable, wrecking the celebration and everything it was meant to secure. The form implies a task: to notice what the ruining is asking to be asked.
- Essence
- The Unallotted
- Rule
- I never got any of it, so I decided it was cheap.
- Substance / Activity
- Water lillies
- Archetype
- Efnysien
- Emotional theme
- What was never received, reclassified as beneath one
- Behavioural pattern
- Joy-avoidance; rejection of the sacred; disgust with the whole arrangement
- Family dynamic
- Rejection and deprivation from the intrauterine period on, in a severely dysfunctional household
- Core wound
- I never got any of it, so I decided it was cheap.
- Exit
- Taking one pleasure privately, where no position has to be held about it.
What is the "Pushed away: Water Lillies" pattern?
It finds delight not merely unavailable but slightly distasteful, something other people lower themselves into, and it extends the same reaction to anything reverent, which it reads as one more form of wallowing. Rejection and deprivation from before birth onward, inside a household with very little in it, left it with no ordinary experience of pleasure and a strong incentive to reclassify what it never got as beneath it. What it asks for is one pleasure taken privately, where no position has to be held about it.
What does "Pushed away: Water Lillies" sound like when it shows up?
Watching people enjoy themselves makes my skin crawl a bit.
What is the archetypal form of "Pushed away: Water Lillies"?
It echoes Efnysien at the peace-feast, who was not consulted about the marriage and answered by ruining the horses in the stable, wrecking the celebration and everything it was meant to secure. The form implies a task: to notice what the ruining is asking to be asked.
This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.
Decoded2times