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#153

Reached for: Racing

When it's fast and dangerous enough, I finally feel alive and, for a moment, sure I have a right to be here.

It runs as a chase after intensity, a sensation-starved need for speed, risk and exhilaration to feel real, driven by an insulated isolation and an early history of being so assaulted, devalued and ignored that the person has to keep proving their right to exist. The rush is genuine aliveness and it is also a repeated audition for a place on the earth. What it asks for is a right to exist that does not have to be re-won at speed.

The Archetypal Form

Ben-Hur, who staked his whole reclaimed existence on the chariot race, driving at the edge of death because only there did his right to a place feel won. The form implies a task: to have a right to exist off the track.

The Algorithm
Essence
Earned Worth
Rule
I only feel real, and sure I'm allowed to exist, when it's fast and dangerous.
Classification
Substance / Activity
Speed, risk, exhilaration, sensation to feel alive
Archetype
Ben-Hur
Emotional theme
Sensation-starvation and a need to prove one's right to exist
Behavioural pattern
Exhilaration-addiction; needing excitement to feel alive
Family dynamic
A childhood so assaulting, devaluing and ignoring that the person must prove their right to exist
Core wound
I only feel real, and sure I'm allowed to exist, when it's fast and dangerous.
Exit
A right to exist that doesn't have to be re-won at speed.
Frequently asked
What is the "Reached for: Racing" pattern?

It runs as a chase after intensity, a sensation-starved need for speed, risk and exhilaration to feel real, driven by an insulated isolation and an early history of being so assaulted, devalued and ignored that the person has to keep proving their right to exist. The rush is genuine aliveness and it is also a repeated audition for a place on the earth. What it asks for is a right to exist that does not have to be re-won at speed.

What does "Reached for: Racing" sound like when it shows up?

When it's fast and dangerous enough, I finally feel alive and, for a moment, sure I have a right to be here.

What is the archetypal form of "Reached for: Racing"?

Ben-Hur, who staked his whole reclaimed existence on the chariot race, driving at the edge of death because only there did his right to a place feel won. The form implies a task: to have a right to exist off the track.

This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.

Decoded2times