Carried: Impotence
“I hold myself back from giving over to a woman, out of an old fear and anger toward my mother that I've never set down.”
It shows as a withholding in intimacy, a refusal to surrender that carries an old fear of and rage toward the mother forward into present relationships, sometimes with spite toward former partners folded in. It reads as absent desire; underneath is a guarded refusal to give oneself over. This is a delicate matter, and where it grieves a relationship its care may belong with someone trained to help. What it asks for is to separate the woman in front of one from the mother the refusal is really answering.
Onan, who would not give himself in the act and made his body enact the refusal his will had already made. The form implies a task: to let the refusal be examined rather than lived out on whoever is present.
- Essence
- The Fortified
- Rule
- I hold back from surrendering to a woman, out of an old fear and rage at my mother.
- Body zone
- A withholding of oneself in intimacy
- Archetype
- Onan
- Emotional theme
- Fear of and rage toward the mother, carried into intimacy
- Behavioural pattern
- Refusing to surrender; withholding oneself, with spite toward partners
- Family dynamic
- A formative fear of and anger at the mother
- Core wound
- I hold back from surrendering to a woman, out of an old fear and rage at my mother.
- Exit
- Separating the present partner from the mother the refusal is really answering.
What is the "Carried: Impotence" pattern?
It shows as a withholding in intimacy, a refusal to surrender that carries an old fear of and rage toward the mother forward into present relationships, sometimes with spite toward former partners folded in. It reads as absent desire; underneath is a guarded refusal to give oneself over. This is a delicate matter, and where it grieves a relationship its care may belong with someone trained to help. What it asks for is to separate the woman in front of one from the mother the refusal is really answering.
What does "Carried: Impotence" sound like when it shows up?
I hold myself back from giving over to a woman, out of an old fear and anger toward my mother that I've never set down.
What is the archetypal form of "Carried: Impotence"?
Onan, who would not give himself in the act and made his body enact the refusal his will had already made. The form implies a task: to let the refusal be examined rather than lived out on whoever is present.
This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.