Carried: LADA (Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults)
“The moment something good comes toward me, I find a way to hold it off, because some part of me is sure I don't deserve it.”
It shows as a steady resistance to the sweet part of life, an ambivalence that meets every good thing with self-rejection and guilt, so that pleasure is grappled with rather than received. The reflex is to push the good back before it can settle. What it asks for is to let one good thing arrive and stay, without paying for it in guilt.
Orpheus, who had won back the one he loved and, at the last threshold, turned to look and lost her, undone by his own doubt at the very edge of the good. The form implies a task: to walk on toward the good without turning to check that it is really allowed.
- Essence
- The Unallotted
- Rule
- Some part of me is sure I don't deserve the good, so I hold it off when it comes.
- Body zone
- The body's resistance to the sweet part of life
- Archetype
- Orpheus
- Emotional theme
- Ambivalence toward good things; self-rejection and guilt
- Behavioural pattern
- Deflecting good things as they arrive; grappling with pleasure rather than receiving it
- Family dynamic
- An early climate in which good things were not felt to be one's due
- Core wound
- Some part of me is sure I don't deserve the good, so I hold it off when it comes.
- Exit
- Letting one good thing arrive and stay, without paying for it in guilt.
What is the "Carried: LADA (Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults)" pattern?
It shows as a steady resistance to the sweet part of life, an ambivalence that meets every good thing with self-rejection and guilt, so that pleasure is grappled with rather than received. The reflex is to push the good back before it can settle. What it asks for is to let one good thing arrive and stay, without paying for it in guilt.
What does "Carried: LADA (Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults)" sound like when it shows up?
The moment something good comes toward me, I find a way to hold it off, because some part of me is sure I don't deserve it.
What is the archetypal form of "Carried: LADA (Latent Autoimmune Diabetes in Adults)"?
Orpheus, who had won back the one he loved and, at the last threshold, turned to look and lost her, undone by his own doubt at the very edge of the good. The form implies a task: to walk on toward the good without turning to check that it is really allowed.
This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.