Carried: Tear Duct Problems
“I don't let myself grieve, because I'm afraid if I start I'll cry myself to death, and anyway I've no right to.”
It shows up as grief held back, a refusal to touch an underlying depression from early maternal deprivation, out of a fear of crying oneself to death and a belief that one has no right to mourn or to impose one's feelings on anyone. The tears back up; the long-resisted grief is never released. It was learned in a household where feeling sorry for oneself was treated as evil. What it asks for is to let a little of the grief flow, with someone who allows it.
The Heliades, who wept for their fallen brother until they hardened into trees, their grief no longer able to flow, sealed as amber in the bark. The form implies a task: to let the grief run before it hardens.
- Essence
- The Withheld Fire
- Rule
- If I start to grieve I'll cry myself to death, and anyway I've no right, so I never do.
- Body zone
- The tear ducts, dammed; a grief with no permission to flow
- Archetype
- The Heliades
- Emotional theme
- A long-resisted mourning from early maternal deprivation
- Behavioural pattern
- Backlogged grief repressed out of a belief one has no right to it
- Family dynamic
- A household in which feeling sorry for oneself was treated as evil
- Core wound
- If I start to grieve I'll cry myself to death, and anyway I've no right, so I never do.
- Exit
- Letting a little of the grief flow, with someone who allows it.
What is the "Carried: Tear Duct Problems" pattern?
It shows up as grief held back, a refusal to touch an underlying depression from early maternal deprivation, out of a fear of crying oneself to death and a belief that one has no right to mourn or to impose one's feelings on anyone. The tears back up; the long-resisted grief is never released. It was learned in a household where feeling sorry for oneself was treated as evil. What it asks for is to let a little of the grief flow, with someone who allows it.
What does "Carried: Tear Duct Problems" sound like when it shows up?
I don't let myself grieve, because I'm afraid if I start I'll cry myself to death, and anyway I've no right to.
What is the archetypal form of "Carried: Tear Duct Problems"?
The Heliades, who wept for their fallen brother until they hardened into trees, their grief no longer able to flow, sealed as amber in the bark. The form implies a task: to let the grief run before it hardens.
This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.