Carried: Gastritis (Irritation of the stomach lining)

It shows as an over-burdening, a life given over to demands felt as exploitation, carried grudgingly because refusing them risks rejection or abandonment, while one's own true self and wishes go unspoken. The obedience is bought with the fear of losing one's place. It was set by a family whose love was made contingent on performing and on meeting their needs first. What it asks for is to risk one refusal and find that the place does not vanish.

I'm worn down carrying demands I never wanted, and I'm too afraid of being cast off to refuse a single one.

Boxer the workhorse, whose answer to everything was 'I will work harder,' who bore every load without complaint and was carted off the moment his strength gave out. The form implies a task: to refuse a load before one is worked to the point of being discarded.