Pushed away: Dairy (I)
“If people knew what I actually am, they'd move seats.”
It carries a conviction of being contaminated, something spoiled at the source that would offend anybody who got close enough to detect it, and it manages the problem by keeping a courteous distance from everyone. Early care that was ambivalent, overwhelmed or simply absent communicated that this child was more than could be tolerated, and a small person files that as a fact about themselves rather than about the adult's capacity. What it asks for is to let one person stay close past the point at which the spoilage is supposed to become obvious.
It echoes Philoctetes, put ashore on an empty island because the company could not bear his wound or the sound of it, left there for ten years and then sent for when he turned out to be necessary. The form implies a task: to notice that being unbearable to one crew is not a property of the person.
- Essence
- Wrong at the Root
- Rule
- I was too much for the person who was meant to hold me.
- Substance / Activity
- Dairy
- Archetype
- Philoctetes
- Emotional theme
- Contamination taken as an intrinsic property
- Behavioural pattern
- Withdrawal before closeness can test the verdict
- Family dynamic
- Early maternal ambivalence, overwhelm or absence that conveyed the child was intolerable
- Core wound
- I was too much for the person who was meant to hold me.
- Exit
- Letting one person stay past the point where the verdict says they should go.
What is the "Pushed away: Dairy (I)" pattern?
It carries a conviction of being contaminated, something spoiled at the source that would offend anybody who got close enough to detect it, and it manages the problem by keeping a courteous distance from everyone. Early care that was ambivalent, overwhelmed or simply absent communicated that this child was more than could be tolerated, and a small person files that as a fact about themselves rather than about the adult's capacity. What it asks for is to let one person stay close past the point at which the spoilage is supposed to become obvious.
What does "Pushed away: Dairy (I)" sound like when it shows up?
If people knew what I actually am, they'd move seats.
What is the archetypal form of "Pushed away: Dairy (I)"?
It echoes Philoctetes, put ashore on an empty island because the company could not bear his wound or the sound of it, left there for ten years and then sent for when he turned out to be necessary. The form implies a task: to notice that being unbearable to one crew is not a property of the person.
This is a pattern. Not a verdict.
It appears in many lives.
Decoded3times