Pushed away: Quince; Quince Juice

It suppresses itself as a matter of policy, holding off joy, closeness and desire in a way that has the shape of principle and the effect of a long fast. The rule came from a moralistic and rejecting household where the body and its wants were the standing evidence against a person, so denial became defence and credential at once. What it asks for is one appetite met plainly, without the accounting that usually follows.

Pleasure is a door I had bricked up, and the house is quieter for it.

It echoes Simeon on his pillar, who put a stone column between himself and everything the world had to offer and stayed up there for decades. The form implies a task: to ask what the height is keeping off, besides temptation.